If you know me personally, you know I do a lot in this life. I just bought my first home and opened my in home salon and holistic healing business. I assistant bar manage part time. I share my yoga practice locally. I have family and friends that I wish I got to keep up with more. I try to have a daily self care/ spiritual practice and live in gratitude and awe. I like to eat healthy and work out. I give back, I house sit when needed. I support local. Im pretty much a walking self help book and can lead a listening ear and give great advice. I’m a pretty positive person. I’m a lot more then what I can list here and I’ve got a lot of growing left to do.
So many people praise me based off how much I do in this life. When I sit back and think about it, I am pretty freaking magical. But I’m no super human, yesterday… I realized just how human I am. It’s been so easy to get wrapped up in all the things that need to be done. In all the things life has been throwing at me and all of the emotions that were piling up. The overwhelm has been slowly setting in.
I beat myself up over where I am now and where I think I should be. Sometimes I feel I’m not enough. Out of all the self help books I’ve read there are still 59 pages of unfilled out self work, because I wasn’t ready for those truths to come to light. I’ve missed my meditations, I’ve skipped out on self care. I’ve been jealous of friends who can do what I can’t, are as thin as I want to be or seemingly have the perfect relationships. My house isn’t always clean, I oversleep, I let negativity creep in. I don’t understand all of my emotions(I just ate a half bag of kettle corn by myself because I didn’t really wanna feel all this shit coming up). I have a relationship pattern I want to change. I’ve hurt people I care about. I get road rage. I’m not always the best dog mom and won’t always be the best Aunnie. I don’t “have it all figured out” but I am aware and I want to be my best self.
That’s where I am.. Human AF. Can you relate to being human today?
